Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Stepping out of an Ageist Discourse: Tahrir Clashes Nov19 2013

I've been reflecting all morning about the clashes that happened in Tahrir last night. I've gone from judging the protestors to undermining them because of their age. I stood on the sides yesterday laughing at the absurdity of protestors running towards the tear gas canister and not away from it. But I just realized, 2 yrs since Mohamed Mahmoud and regardless of the distractions of the political puppet show there is a deep seated feeling of injustice. Lives lost, people injured and a sense of loss that may not be legally measurable. Something robbed and yet irretrievable, and even more so integral.
I am slightly ashamed to have been so non compassionate, so judgmental and patronizing. There is a rage at a world that is being constructed around us that goes against every single inherent gnosis we have of that world, and while most of us live to some varying degree in denial, some of us may not have lived long enough yet to have developed the same defense mechanisms. Some of us may be living and responding to a world that is darkly absurd and morbid a little bit more honestly than others. People suffered a loss and no justice or closure ever happened. Instead an invalidation of the reality that ripped through peoples lives. A small example among a million more of that is the memorial constructed to commemorate the martyrs, thankfully it didn't last more than 24 hours. The violence of these acts creates a justifiable rage, yet many of us will choose to instead demean these protestors because they are younger and judge them and question their sanity. Their reaction to everything that has been happening IS SANITY. A step up from that we sit and discuss these poor teens and tweens, the system failed them they are not to be blamed, let us fix them, they need something to do, oh these poor poor kids, let us educate them, let us engage them....  When is someone going to start saying let us VALIDATE them..
I want to be stripped from the defenses that I have built over the years, that tell me that the biggest joke in the world is that awful memorial that they put up. These defenses that make me laugh at the same time my stomach aches and churns, yet don't get up and tear that memorial down.I want to have that energy to express my rage over and over again, tear canister after tear canister, as one after the other falls to the ground. Over and over. That energy to express and enact my rage at every material and symbolic aspect of that system. Okay, lol, maybe I don't really want that :) ..... But at least I don't want to judge that.

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